Interview with a Superstar!
Denae Doyle
VR: Who is Denae Doyle?
DD: Miss Vicki, first I want to thank you for asking to interview me. I have often thought most people only know about me professionally. Denae is a genetic woman who specializes in Femininity Coaching. Vicki, I once read that we teach what we most need to learn. Most of my GG and TG clients are surprised to discover I am a total klutz. I was a very shy teen-age girl, who had to be taught to look and feel pretty– from makeup and hair to movement and voice. When I am teaching, I am continuing learning a new insight or tip that has evolved from within. I have had an extensive background in fashion, modeling, merchandising, pageants and owning and operating Nation Modeling in Northern Cal. I would have to say, Feminine Movement is the area– I most love to teach to the transgendered woman and I am astonished how easily some girls pick up movement– once they are aware of the stumbling blocks. Since 93% of all communication is non-verbal, it can only enhance the success of any woman. “But it is my voice” is the response I hear from a majority of my transgendered clients. A masculine voice is certainly something I work on, but in a majority of cases no one has heard her speak. So what is giving her away in the first three-second impression? By far the most common factor is that despite all her best efforts to look feminine, she is still moving like a male!
Movement can be learned, and I have seen it first hand. To sum up your question Vicki– “Who is Denae Doyle?”. Denae Doyle is a Femininity Coach and loves to teach movement and all areas of image. How did I get started working with TG women? I have an older brother who told me he was a girl –when we were young children. And, I have taught self-improvement and modeling since I was in college. I have a true understanding of gender issues and I am an advocate for the TG community. In 1997 I founded FemImage, to help transgendered women with all areas of image.
VR: Where are you living these days?
DD: I live south of San Francisco in the ocean resort town, Santa Cruz. I love the beautiful ocean and the warm weather and Santa Cruz has extremely friendly transgendered laws. I love to take my more experienced transgendered clients shopping in retail stores here, and perhaps have lunch or tea in Union Square in San Francisco.
VR: I know this is a hard question, but can you tell us what your life has been about?
DD: I am a Texas girl– born and raised that moved to San Francisco to continue a fashion career. As a teenage girl, I was painfully shy and awkward. I was a wallflower and worked extremely hard on appearing more feminine. I had many obstacles to over come, but self improvement and modeling school taught me the techniques to hold myself tall and project a confident, feminine image. By my Jr. year in High School, I was modeling weekly on television and competing in pageants. I moved to California to continue my modeling career and opened a modeling school, which is still extremely successful today.
When I was asked by Millie Brown, author of “True Selves” if I could help her new TG women going through their one year Real Life Test, I realized this was something I was also meant to do. When I founded FemImage in 1997 to help the TG women, I never imagined that in the year 2004– FemImage (TG) consults would consume 90% of my coaching sessions.
VR: What kind of service do you provide the TG community?
DD: I work as an image consultant with the serious TG woman; many of them are Transsexuals but many are CrossDressers who are very serious about going out. I coach the TG woman “how to” move and express their feminine side. I work with voice, makeup, hair/wigs and wardrobe. I also have contacts with retail stores, and I take my serious clients shopping. Many have never tried on clothing in a store before. To find the right clothing, the right wig, and makeup that matches her life style, personality and budget– is essential if one is to be taken seriously. It is hard work to be a woman, and it is even harder to be a Transgendered woman. It requires time, effort, practice and a budget.
VR: Now tell me is this feminization service or do you help people in the art of being feminine?
DD: Vicki, I am not a transformation service. Recently, when I was featured on the Discovery Channels’ documentary on TG women; the producers of the show commented on how difficult it had been for them to find an expert who was seriously helping the transgendered woman with all areas of image. I don’t like the female gender to be degraded, and I strive to help my clients to express this feminine side of their soul with dignity and respect, thus raising the bar on both femininity and the Transgendered woman.
VR: What are some of the (for a better word) courses you offer?
DD: I work with one on one private consultations on movement, poise, voice, makeup and wardrobe. I feel, movement and voice are the two areas that a new TG woman has to practice the most and therefore are the most difficult– but give the highest reward. Anyone can put on a dress, but to create your individual feminine expression by blending your inner softer side with your new well coordinated and groomed outer appearance– is like creating your own unique dance. Hard? Yes, but what an insight into who you are!
I coach the more experienced TG woman with outside coaching sessions on what ques she may be giving off. I also help the TG woman put a wardrobe together on a basic backbone, and we cover social etiquette. Makeup is important as well as learning how to style your own hair or wig.
A TG woman will learn faster if she is taught “how to” instead of having it done for her.
VR: If someone did not live in your area, is there a way they could still take advantage of what you offer?
DD: Oh, I have been asked that for several years, as many girls don’t get to San Francisco! I just released my professionally produced video “Feminine Movement I” on DVD or VHS.
It is perfect for the beginner or the experienced TG woman, who wants to “get it right”.
I researched what was available on the TG market, and I was shocked at the lack of quality instructional videos. I decided to put my Feminine Movement consultation on DVD.
I think the TG community deserves to have quality help, and sadly there is not a lot of help out there for the really serious TG woman. I hired a professional producer, director. By the end of the
5-day video shoot, all three of these men (who don’t dress) were able to walk gracefully! It was so fun to watch them show me who could get their hips to swing the most. The video has really caught on and I am hoping to do another one on advanced movement, dance, flirting and so many of the ideas I teach– that need to get put on tape. I also work with phone consultations and video cams consultations.
VR: Now I am not interested in the cost of these courses, that is between you and your clients, but if I were coming out there to hire you for say just one of your services, say the art of walking, could you tell me how long is the average course, is more then a day?
DD: I generally book a 5-hour consultation to coach the techniques I have created especially for training the Transgendered woman. I start with poise-( walking, stairs, sitting, hand positions, leg positions, putting on coats, carrying hand bags, along with some fun flirtatious movements). For the more advanced girl, we do outside coaching and of course I’m right beside her if she gets nervous. We also go into retail stores to find the right cosmetics for her skin and life style, as well as shop for clothing and a wig if needed. Voice, is also an important area to cover.
VR: What is your success rate?
DD: When I am at TG conventions speaking, I can always tell which girls have worked on their appearance– and I am proud to say my girls are more graceful than someone who hasn’t been shown what male clues they are giving off. It is an investment in yourself that will carry into all areas of your life, even while in guy mode your posture and appearance will be more confident and regal. Vickie, lets think about this. A professional athletic or actress/singer has a coach.
Successful people get coaches. Football teams watch the film from their previous game and they study their mistakes. So, why would someone not get serious help for something as important as transition? The girls that work on their appearance are more successful, period. I have a very high success rate and many gender therapists call me to work with their TS clients. I advise my clients to always continue working on their appearance, with stretching classes. And, to find a hair stylist that will help her monthly with her hair or wig cleaning and styling. This is the most important thing a TS woman will do in her life, and she should not under estimate how difficult it is to be a woman, and the time and energy involved.
I truly believe success is determined on how well a person is prepared for their new goal.
Dressing or transition requires getting the best help you can afford on your budget and to the degree you dress.
VR: Can we ever find you putting on a clinic at any of the TG conventions? And if so, which ones?
DD: Oh, I speak at all the major TG conventions; Southern Comfort, Espirit, Gold Rush and the new Cal Dreamin. My seminars are limited to 90 min. I would love to hold a 2-day workshop for 5 girls. We could cover everything. However, I still strongly believe one on one coaching is essential to get it right. You’re worth it!
VR: One more question about your business and we will find out more about Denae the woman. Can you share without using names a real success story with us?
DD: I have trained hundreds of TG women, and they range from casual to glamorous. However I have to say, my best success story is a serious CD who is a highly successful professional. She would examine what I would suggest and she practiced. She worked very hard on all areas, from laser treatments to color analysis. She went slow and designed a budget for the more expensive issues.
She asked me to critique her harder after each coaching session. She would not get over sensitive and would want to see her improvement. She invested two years of hard work and money while still maintaining a relationship with her wife and family. Most of her success was due to seeking out the best help she could find, and then slowly adding in the basic clothing, or make-up/ wig items she needed. She would place herself in different situations wearing different outfits and wigs and would then call me and we would discuss what got her read. We would determine if it was the color of the wig for the time of day, or if it were the type of clothing, or perhaps it was simply her lack of practice on her voice and movement for that month. She was also able to laugh at herself, and to accept and forgive herself for any previous feelings of shame or guilt. During our time together, she realized how dressing fit into her life, so it was a win-win for everyone involved.
And, after she had worked on her look and felt she had done was well as possible, she was then able to go out and enjoy herself– no longer concerned if she “got read”. Often, I have asked her to assist me at speaking engagements. I think her success– is her happiness from understanding and accepting where she is in the world of gender. And, as a CD she has maintained balance with her dressing, family and career.
VR: Now back to Denae the woman, who was your inspiration growing up?
DD: When I was a young girl, I had an aunt who worked for Fox Studios in Los Angles. She was very feminine, kind, and soft-spoken. When I watch the old Loretta Young movies, I can’t help but realize how women from the 40’s and 50’s were more beautiful, feminine and graceful. I think femininity is a lost art.
VR: Who do you admire these days?
DD: I admire the young women of today, who are finding careers they love. Women who are strong but gentle. Women with a career and family. Women who love others.
VR: What do you think has been your biggest accomplishment in life to date?
DD: Years ago, I would have said the titles I have won in pageants. Now, it has to be the love and respect I receive for being an advocate for the transgendered community. The right people will call me, find me, and it never ceases to amaze me how they appreciate and love me. I am also very proud of my daughter.
VR: What really makes you happy?
DD: I enjoy music and dance. I embrace Spiritual teachings. Happy is being in love with someone you can trust and be honest and open with.
VR: What really makes you upset?
DD: In the TG community? I get upset when men degrade the female gender.
VR: Do you have any pet peeves?
DD: I don’t like to share my clothing! It comes from having sisters and roommates that ruined my favorite dress. I know that sounds silly, but I bet many of your readers will understand!
VR: Do you think you are a nice person or do you think you can be a bitch at times?
DD: I am told I am kind and sweet. And, I am. However, my male side comes out when someone tries to take advantage of my kindness.
VR: What do you think makes you stand out above others?
DD: I am told over and over…. that I care about my clients. And, I do. I suppose that isn’t something one can fake for years.
VR: Do you get nervous when you are asked to speak to a group?
DD: No, I love to speak. I suppose that comes from my years of modeling, pageants and teaching. I DO get nervous on a date. I become 13-year-old girl again .I trip and fall and stumble on my words. Remember, I told you I was a klutz?
VR: Are you married?
DD: I am divorced, but my ex and I are friends. He is accepting of my work with the TG community, and for that I am thankful.
VR: Where do you see yourself in the future?
DD: I will continue producing more instructional videos and perhaps create a FemImage on the east coast. I will continue my work as long– as I enjoy it. When it isn’t fun, I won’t do it anymore.
I hope I will still leave near the beach. Oh, and to dance!
VR: Do you think the transgender community receives the respect it deserves or is there still a way to go?
DD: Again, when I began FemImage– I watched other TG instructional videos and researched what type of professional image services were available, and I was horrified at the poor quality of help that is available for the new and venerable transgendered woman. However, with the recent influx of documentaries being done on transgendered people, I am hopeful this will begin to educate the general public and more professionals will begin working with the community. I am currently training a very well known actress, Felicity Huffman (who is married to William Macy) to play the part of a TS woman who tells her 15-year-old son about her GID. The movie will be released by the end of 2004 and is called “TransAmerica”. I was also filmed last year by The Discovery Channel on a documentary, which has a 5 star rating. I truly believe TG is coming out of the closet and help is on the way for the TG woman and for their family and spouse.
VR: Do you have a favorite movie and why?
DD: Hope Floats with Sandra Bullock. Sandra is a Southern beauty queen, who leaves her home to begin a new life in the entertainment field. The film reminds me of my life in Texas and how southern women return to their roots. I love to study how women from different parts of the country learn how to be feminine. And, we southern girls are taught how to be lady-like!
VR: Can you recommend us a motivating or inspirational book that has changed your perception about the world?
DD: Oh, I have so books on fashion, color, design. But inspirational books are truly my first interest. I love metaphysical reading that helps us to transform our life and self-esteem. Any book that teaches us to think positive and to release fear thoughts we all learned from childhood, real or imagined. I just finished reading Wayne Dyer’s book on Intention. I also enjoy Deepak Chopra’s book The Soul of Healing. Currently, I am in a quiet and reflective phase of my life; working on releasing any childhood perceptions of fear, shame, guilt that I keep repeating and bringing into my present. I love Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return To Love. I am also currently writing several articles on Femininity–that will be on FemImage web site.
VR: What words of wisdom would you give to someone who is reaching out for help?
DD: Go slow. Accept critique. If you’re a CD– try to keep a balance of your male and female sides of your soul by learning to love and accept the feminine side of your soul while still taking pride in your male appearance and life. Create a time line, a budget, and include your spouse in the process, if possible. For a CD I always encourage them to take care of their male side as we employ him to pay the bills! The grass is not always greener on the other side! For TS women I strongly suggest establishing your transition time line. It is best to go slow and have certain items paid off, and have a savings account– if it takes time to find employment in your new female role. Again, go slow and ask experts for help in stores and salons. Work on your movement and voice, as those are the two areas that most TS women get lazy in. Socialize outside the TG community, so you’re able to blend in with women who go to the grocery store at 1:00 in the afternoon! Enjoy the process and don’t focus on just the end result. I see many TG women making a complete transition in less than a year, and in my opinion…they are not completely prepared for what may lie ahead. I certainly didn’t learn to be a woman in less than a year, so please don’t under estimate the process. And, never stop working on yourself. As a woman, you continually have to spend extra time, energy and money on how you look. Being female-regardless of your look-is high maintenance. Establish how or who will help you with your hair/or wig as well as someone to help you with hair removal, bi-monthly nails and pedicures, and learning how to add a few (inexpensive) key items to your wardrobe each season…which will give you a fresh, up to date look. Again, it is hard work being a woman, so please don’t think this is all easy and fun. Yes, it is fun-but to really look good you have to work at this as hard as you have your career or marriage. I feel this is the most important thing you will ever do, so do it right.
VR: Do you have a final statement, for our readers?
DD: I would love for any of your readers to feel free to call me, if they think I may be able to help them. And, they can visit my web site, where my DVD is available. Vicki Rene, you have done so much for the community, and I have enjoyed your interview. You are really lovely and fun, and I love your red hair!
Denae Doyle
P O Box 2977
Santa Cruz, CA
95065
(831) 479-1282
Note from Vicki Rene: I have met this wonderful woman once. and only for about 10 minutes, but I have to say she put me at ease, talked to me like we were the very best of friends, and someone I knew I could not only trust but confide in as well.
Since that time we have talked many times by email and I know this is someone any and all of you ladies that were thinking of transitioning or just want to improve your fem persona should get to know. She is not like a lot of the others out there, she is a very classy and a trust worthy woman.
You can also more information about Denae’s business on her WEBSITE or you can EMAIL her!
